Letter

I have had several requests to share the eulogy/letter I wrote to Kyle and read at the funeral:

Dear Kyle—

As you know, I have gone through a lot of school. I graduated from high school, undergraduate with 2 degrees and then graduate school. I was a college professor for 15 years. I have met so many amazing teachers during all that time in education.

Little did I know that you, my sweet son, would be my greatest teacher of all. You taught me so much in your short 18 years of life.

You taught me to listen more and talk less.

You taught me to be more grateful and less greedy.

You taught me to be less controlling and more compassionate.

You taught me to communicate, not close down.

You taught me more patience and less anger.

You taught me to judge less and learn more.

You taught me to live in the moment, that the past is history, and the future a mystery.

You taught me to let go of what I thought would be, that today's expectations are tomorrow's disappointments.

You taught me that comparison is truly the thief of joy.

You taught me the only thing I can control is myself.

You taught me to have less ego and more understanding.

You taught me to make amends to people I have wronged.

You taught me to let people help and comfort me.

You taught me to let go and let God.

You taught me to connect with my God in a way I never thought possible.

You taught me that sharing my story, our story, could help other people.

You taught me that giving back fills my soul.

You taught me that addiction is a soul sucking, awful disease that most people don’t understand and can happen to anyone in any type of family.

You taught me that people who are sober, who fight every day, every hour and every minute for sobriety are the most badass people on the planet.

You taught me to love you fiercely no matter what.

You taught me that my love for you is never ending, that I will carry you in my heart and soul forever, and that you are a part of me that will never die.

Most importantly, you taught me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

And, on that note, I would like everyone here in the sober community and anyone else who would like to join, to stand and recite the serenity prayer with me:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

Dear Kyle, as much as I wanted a different ending to your story, my greatest hope is that your story, our story, can help others who are struggling. I love you more than you will ever, ever, ever know. Rest in peace my sweet son, the demons are gone.

Love, Mom